Comment Wall
Here is the link to my Storybook website: https://alannastorybook.blogspot.com/
Introducing Me... Alanna Curry!!
Hello, all! My name is Alanna Curry and I am from Mckinney, TX. This semester I am starting my senior year, which is crazy to me because it seems like just yesterday I was starting my freshmen year at OU! I am majoring in Marketing with hopes to go into sales. This past summer I spent my time interning at the Four Seasons Resort in Dallas. Although, I am not a hospitality major I was interested in the internship because I love interacting with people and like the idea of making someone dreams come true through their stay at the resort. When I have free time ( which is never), I enjoy spending time with my family at the lake, working out, and shopping. During the school year, I work at Orangetheory Fitness in Moore. I love working here because it is a fun atmosphere and it encourages me to work out. My favorite thing about OU is the football! I have grown up an OU fan and always look forward to the hustle and bustle that game day brings. I am really sad that this will be my last year
Hello Alanna! To start, I really enjoyed the graphic design you chose with the water since Venice is known for its canals it seems to fit perfect in my opinion. I also thought your introduction was very well written. I loved how you described the characters emotion along with the setting of the places they traveled to. I think your details do an amazing job of pulling the reader in wanting to read more. I wonder what will happen to the girls since the ghost is warning them. I also wonder what he is warning them about. I’m sure with the stories you write next all of this will be explained. I was thinking what if you maybe added a section in your introduction that could maybe give some more advice from a local about why they shouldn’t go to the haunted place to add to the thrill. Overall, great writing and I can’t really think of anything for you to fix.
ReplyDeleteHi Alanna,
ReplyDeleteI really liked what you have done so far with your introduction! From the start, the images and colors you used for your website really added to the Venice vacation theme. I thought it was interesting that one of your characters remarked about how fresh the city smelled, because I had always heard Venice tended to pretty bad due to all the water that will sometimes stagnate. But I did think you did a good job depicting realistic dialogue between the four girls that didn't get too stale or too long.
However, I did notice some typos that took me out of the story a little bit. I won't point them all out (because I'm sure Laura already did!) but what really helped me have less typos was reading the story out loud to myself after I thought I was finished with it. I know it's annoying and silly to do but it might help!
Regardless, I think you have a really solid foundation here for a good project, and I look forward to seeing what happens to the four students in Venice!
Hello Alanna!
ReplyDeleteFirst off all, the layout of your storybook was so inviting. I really like the color scheme, and the text style being used. I really love how the introduction leaves us on a cliff hanger, and if you wanted, you could even have left it at the spooked part to make readers wonder what happened next instead of ending it abruptly! I really like how this story will be about a group of girls' journey, but something I was wondering was their background information? Maybe a short introductory paragraph to the characters may make this story more effective so that readers know who these characters are? Other than that, I think you did a really great job! I am looking forward to coming back to your storybook, and read the new story additions you add! Nice job!
Hello there Alanna!
ReplyDeleteFirst, your blog looks great! It has a really homey feel to it and I really like that! There are some beautiful bright colors.
Second, I have a great suggestion that would make your storybook look even better! I just saw another student's blog who had quite the extensive home page. It had a great introduction to background of the storybook and the class she is taking, so readers outside the class would have a better idea of where it is all coming from!
Third, and I have told a decent amount of people this, you can never have enough background on your characters. The more in depth your descriptions and writings of your characters are, the more the reader will feel when they read your stories you write about them!
Other than that, great introduction, and I am very excited to see your first story!
Good luck!
Hey Alanna. Great introduction to your project. I am guessing you are doing the continuous story book. In the start of your story you give some information on the four girls on the trip but it would be nice to know more about them. Maybe before you go into Venice, you could set up the girls’ information. It would also be helpful if you put in some information about Giovanni Dario's daughter that committed suicide. I am not familiar with this story? Is it from the reading or one that you personally know? Or did you make it up? This could be told later on in the story since it is only just the introduction, I was just curious about her from the foreshadowing. You describe Venice very well and picked great images to go along with the descriptions. You also did a great job of creating suspense and wanting the reading to keep going. I cannot wait to hear the rest of the story.
ReplyDeleteHey Alanna,
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a great job on your Introduction. To start, I really liked the title you have given to your storybook. At first glance, it seems that your storybook will cover the story of lovers in Venice. I love that by the end of the introduction, we find out that your storybook will be about spirits (or something of that nature, since we have only been teased by it).
Right now, I am assuming that readers believe that spirits are what are whispering. However, I feel that you are still no tied down to a story about spirits. Have you considered maybe making it a mystery? Instead of having the four characters "haunted" by the spirit of the dead daughter, what if they were being played a trick on by a malicious character? I feel that there are endless possibilities to further your story. Good luck!
Hi Alanna!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was very engaging! I went to Venice this last summer, so I could picture myself walking through those streets as your characters were. I think it would be beneficial to add more pictures of the streets of Venice, showing how small they are and all the water canals for all the people that have not been there. I had no idea that they celebrated Mardi Gras there!
If you wanted to add a little more foreshadowing of what is going to happen later in your story I think that would be great! I am excited to continue to read about the adventures of your characters! Your introduction is open enough for you to have lots of options of where to take your story!
Hi Alanna, first off, I like how you have a different set up for your project. It's like our blog site, instead of the google sites that we used. Is there a particular reason you chose to set it up like this?
ReplyDeleteI like how you put characters from OU in your story! It's very relatable to us readers! I really like how you put the picture of the bridge in the introduction! It was placed perfectly, and wow, that picture looks so peaceful and beautiful. Maybe you could make it a little larger?
Wow, when that faint whisper spoke, your story definitely got a little spookier! I can't wait to see what happens in your the rest of your storybook? Is it going to be about this ghost? Or Mardi Gras? Or both? Maybe you could lead in a little more in the introduction? Either way, I can't wait to read more!
Hi Alanna! I just finished taking a look at your portfolio that you have been working on throughout this semester and I have to say that I actually really enjoyed it. I haven't looked at too many portfolios, but yours is one that caught my eye. Your writing style and the things that you thought to include (especially your specific characters and the ways that you dealt with character development) did wonders for making your story relatable and an attention grabber. Something that I think would be a good suggestion is to add a little foreshadowing that would cause some suspense for your readers. That way, they could enjoy what they are reading and also get a taste of what is going to come later in order to make them want to come back at a later point in time. However, overall I thought that you have done a great job with your portfolio up until this point and I can't wait to come back and see where you take it as we begin to wrap up the semester in the coming weeks!
ReplyDeleteHi Alanna! I just visited your portfolio and love what I saw. All of your colors went together really well throughout your site even though they didn't necessarily have to since it's not a storybook. This was very pleasing to the eye and brought your page together well. As far as stories go, I decided to read Cupid and Psyche. I love how you put a modern spin on your story by incorporating both Rodeo Drive and the obsession our generation has with social media. It keeps your reader entertained as many of us can relate to the part about seeing someone's beautiful life on a social media platform and wanting to walk in their shoes for a day.
ReplyDeleteGreat story!
Hello, Alanna! It looks like your portfolio is coming along nicely! At an initial glance the color scheme that you chose as well as your banner picture is very pretty and well put together. I really enjoyed your stories, and it is clear you are creative and imaginative.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, as I was reading through your stories I had a few questions and comments come to mind. First of all I loved your version of the classic story of Cupid and Psyche. I think your decision to change the setting was great, and keeping the names really did help the reader recognize the origins of the story.
The Aristocrat's Daughter's Who Was Lost was also a very creative take on an old story, but I had a few questions and comments as I was reading. Throughout the story there were a few grammatical errors, but luckily those are easy fixes! For example, it seems as though something has fallen out of the sentence "As Zerah and her men were trying to lose track of a few suitors in the process Zerah lost her bodyguards." Maybe the sentence could be reworded in order to clarify what happened in the rush to evade the suitors.
Great work!
Hello Alanna,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the changes you made in your first story. While that was not a story I have read, I can understand why you made the changes you did based off of your author's notes. While I may have understood better if I read the original story, it seems weird that a fairy comes from no where to take away the daughter. So I like that she went on a vacation instead. I'm not going to lie, a plot twist I thought was coming was that her new husband was actually the son of one of the pursuers. He just lived in a different town than his father and where she originally lived, which is why neither of them knew about each other. Plot twists and cliff hangers often catch the reader off guard and excite the imagination. In your second story I really like how you told the story as it was happening in the modern era. I was happy to see that Venus allowed the two to be together, even if it was at the cost of Psyche's "popularity".
Hi Alanna!
ReplyDeleteI like the design and colors of your site, and I think it fits your overall project. I enjoyed reading the two stories on your portfolio so far. I haven't read either of them, but I definitely got a good idea from your author's notes. In The Aristocrat's Daughter Who Was Lost, I noticed a few spelling and grammatical errors. For example, you put "her eyes were sparking", I assume you meant sparkling. Also, "it was very reliving", I assume you meant relieving.
I like how you took this story and based it off of another story from the movie taken. He is an overprotective dad, but it pays off because he ends up saving her. The same thing for your story as he saves his daughter from being forced into marriage.
For the Cupid and Psyche story I love how you gave it a modern twist with social media and fame being intertwined. It also ends happily, and the characters realize family and love is much more important than fame.
Hi there Alanna! Super nice to meet ya!
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, your pictures, and words about Venice... brings back so many memories for me!! The colors are so warm and inviting, and it is really quite exciting (uh oh here comes my travel bug). From a readers standpoint, the more descriptions, details, images, etc. the better! I don't know if you have ever read a book by Dan Brown, but all of his books take place in Italy, and his imagery is insane!! It's as if you are there watching it all unfold yourself. That is something that us as authors could always work on- more details. I am sure there is endless already existing writings about your locations, and that could always be fun to throw in more details or even famous monuments.
But so far you are doing great, Happy Writing!!
Hi Alanna! I really like the theme you chose for your website. It looks good and isn’t overbearing or too simplistic. For your first story, I like how you decided to make Zerah a strong female character who wanted to be in charge of her own life. I think the most memorable part of this story is when Zerah says she would rather be punished than marry someone she doesn’t love. This is a powerful theme for the story. I think the biggest questions I had are how Zerah got kidnapped and how her father rescued her. I know that you weren’t necessarily trying to make it an action-packed story like the movie “Taken,” but I think it could be more enjoyable that way. Better yet, what if you made Zerah escape on her own? I feel like this would continue the theme of her being a strong character who can take of herself.
ReplyDelete